is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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