it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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