I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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