so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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