stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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