You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize