I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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