saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize