I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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