Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the condom got lost in my hair
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm both gender and math confused
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