My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
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sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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