The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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