we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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