dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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