grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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