Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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