who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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