nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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