Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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