John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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