He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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