I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize