He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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