There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize