help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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