i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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