You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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