Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is the high leading the old right now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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