idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize