I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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