I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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