So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize