Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i jhust puked up my retainher.

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  (313): i jhust puked up my retainher. http://tfl.nu/zdlf
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
  Replies (27) Good night (419) Bad night (3175) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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  (224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy
  Replies (44) Good night (7535) Bad night (4346) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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  (321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv
  Replies (19) Good night (1120) Bad night (4105) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..

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  (703): bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status.. http://tfl.nu/z1m2
  Replies (25) Good night (6663) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?

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  (614): over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read? http://tfl.nu/2tdc
  Replies (13) Good night (2635) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

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  (402): your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me http://tfl.nu/38h8
  Replies (28) Good night (7260) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  May it rest in peace.

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  (847): Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence. (708): May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/csj7
  Replies (17) Good night (4446) Bad night (1235)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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  (732): Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse. http://tfl.nu/qv1x
  Replies (5) Good night (2637) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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  (845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4300) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.

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  (310): I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning. http://tfl.nu/9168
  Replies (5) Good night (2165) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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  (860): You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS! http://tfl.nu/g8vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1236) Bad night (498)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.

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  (540): i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis. http://tfl.nu/pg6e
  Replies (10) Good night (554) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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  (508): merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash. http://tfl.nu/86x1
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (1894) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.

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  (808): My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever. http://tfl.nu/qc0x
  Replies (6) Good night (755) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt

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