i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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