A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize