i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize