i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize