Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize