Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
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I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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