That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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