end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize