We're like a lot better than the average bears
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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