i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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