Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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