My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
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Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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