this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
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Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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