ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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