I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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