Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im six kinds of drunk right now
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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