I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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